Just as I was thinking it couldn't get any worse and had a good few days of trying my best to be happy God throws another piece at me, hard. Losing a person that you have been with for about 8 months and that you were able to love so easily hurts like nothing I have ever felt. So yes, Nick broke up with me yesterday. I know I'm changing here, I have so many problems and so much stress from this exchange right now and Nick was just tired of hearing about it. I'm sick of hearing about it... Why did it have to go this far though? Getting dumped hurts, hurts bad, but not having your family and friends here to help you get through it is just as bad. I know I'm just a 16 year old girl but that doesn't effect how strong you feel stuff, if anything it hurts just as bad as a 60 year old women. He was perfect, but the timing not so much.
I try so hard here, I'm pulled in all different directions, the one thing that I held onto so tightly is now absent. I always finish what I start (Besides cleaning the kitchen) so I need to finish this year. I can't live like how I have been, even if I get one hour of sleep because I wake up screaming and crying I need to get myself out of bed and take care of myself. My mom has raised me to be strong, I am so sick of just being strong but thats what you have to do in life. I'm scared how this adjustment is going to go, but believe me, I am sick of this. I am sick of not being happy, I just lost my boyfriend, I miss my family.... I need to just forget everything, deal with the pain and stop complaining. So next post on my blog will be much more happy, I promise, and I mean this promise!
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